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Hard lesson? May be not!

Maybe hard lessons aren’t really hard. They are just lessons but our inability and willingness to accept reality for what it is, “reality”, makes these lessons harder.

Our unwillingness to understand that what is, really is and our faith, despite our warning gut feeling, that we could make it different.

It really helps dig the hole we often want to avoid become deeper.

One could argue that it is neither our unwillingness to accept nor faith that we could achieve a different outcome that creates these difficulties rather than the cards we were dealt were bad in the first place.

Yes, maybe true, however, most times we ignore the initial gut feeling we experience about and around a situation out of hope or faith in ourselves.

That is the inability and unwillingness I am referring to. We are unwilling to accept that may be our abilities at that moment may be limited, that this particular battle may not be ours or that this may not be the time to climb this particular mountain. Because we are afraid of experiencing ourselves as failures or being perceived by the other as having failed.

Please do not get me wrong, I do believe, we have agency and the power to effect change on and, influence our experience of, reality, not reality itself.

This does, however, require learning to not only be in tune with your gut but knowing what your “Yes”, “No” and “Maybe” look and feel like to you.

Also learning how to recognize and be conscious of these states at all times. What I mean by this, is understanding how your willingness and unwillingness are experienced in your body, mind, and heart. This also means understanding and taking inventory of your resources in every situation.

This can span from assessing your own internal (i.e., energy levels, current commitments, emotional, physical, and mental state) and external (i.e., support structures) resources, understanding what may constrain and propel you from accomplishing and, most importantly, when to cut your losses and invest more.

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